snorlaxatives:

the first person to ever fall asleep was probably like “aw fuck i’m dying” but then woke up hours later and was like “aw yeah that’s the shit i do like”

(via cumfort)

exactable:

I wish I could illegally download clothes

(via orgasm)

when beyonce comes on at the gym.

(via dyalated)

ggaga:

playlist for the day

  1. i don’t care - apocalyptica
  2. really don’t care - demi lovato
  3. i don’t care - fall out boy
  4. i love it (i don’t care) - icona pop
  5. i don’t care - 2ne1
  6. i don’t care about you - cody johnson
  7. we don’t care - kanye west
  8. i don’t care anymore - phil collins

(via sniffing)

savannahblair:

i hate when people ask “who you tryna look good for?!” bitch myself bye

(via hashtagidiot)

thorsagod:

we all have dicks we regret sucking

(via pink--v-elvet)

oeuniverse:

In order to become the supreme adult, you must perform the seven wonders:

  • Public speaking
  • Not being afraid of teenagers
  • Calling the doctor yourself
  • Taxes
  • Arguing without crying
  • Having a normal sleep pattern
  • Having an answer to the question ‘what do you want to do with your life?’

(via chaisehealth)

peenies:

I hate shirtless white boys who think they’re doing humanity a favor if they call a girl beautiful go get high off your axe deodorant spray

(via distraction)

disowns:

image

when bae sets up a surprise date <3

(via iwishihadafather)

p0urtoujours:

Why put cookie dough in the oven when you could put it straight in your mouth?

(via distraction)

unacted:

girls who pretend to act stupid because they think it’s cute need to be slapped in the face with a brick

(via distraction)