the first person to ever fall asleep was probably like “aw fuck i’m dying” but then woke up hours later and was like “aw yeah that’s the shit i do like”

(via cumfort)


I wish I could illegally download clothes

(via orgasm)

when beyonce comes on at the gym.

(via dyalated)


playlist for the day

  1. i don’t care - apocalyptica
  2. really don’t care - demi lovato
  3. i don’t care - fall out boy
  4. i love it (i don’t care) - icona pop
  5. i don’t care - 2ne1
  6. i don’t care about you - cody johnson
  7. we don’t care - kanye west
  8. i don’t care anymore - phil collins

(via sniffing)


i hate when people ask “who you tryna look good for?!” bitch myself bye

(via hashtagidiot)


we all have dicks we regret sucking

(via pink--v-elvet)


In order to become the supreme adult, you must perform the seven wonders:

  • Public speaking
  • Not being afraid of teenagers
  • Calling the doctor yourself
  • Taxes
  • Arguing without crying
  • Having a normal sleep pattern
  • Having an answer to the question ‘what do you want to do with your life?’

(via chaisehealth)


I hate shirtless white boys who think they’re doing humanity a favor if they call a girl beautiful go get high off your axe deodorant spray

(via distraction)



when bae sets up a surprise date <3

(via iwishihadafather)


Why put cookie dough in the oven when you could put it straight in your mouth?

(via distraction)


girls who pretend to act stupid because they think it’s cute need to be slapped in the face with a brick

(via distraction)